Category: troubled children

Solid Wisdom for Parents of Troubled Children and Teens

Solid Wisdom for Parents of Troubled Children and Teens

 

Other parents have gone before you and faced the challenges that come with a very troubled child.  Get a jump on your task and learn from other’s experience. Wisdom is out there.  You can avoid common mistakes and the stress they cause everyone.

First things first:

You are not alone. All families experience the same fears no matter what the child’s challenges: guilt, anger, frustration, failure, and mental and physical exhaustion.

There is a way. The steps to finding peace in the home are the same for all families and all children regardless of diagnosis

You can start now. You can improve behavior without having a diagnosis, and the techniques work for the majority of difficult children.

There is reason for HOPE. Your child has the capacity to do well . With your support and treatment, difficult children improve.

Have realistic expectations: They may need extra support into their 20’s… but that’s OK. There’s time to catch up with their peers on education and life skills.

Plan ahead for a crisis, brainstorm options for an effective response and create a checklist. You can’t think clearly in a crisis that you didn’t see coming.

What helps your child in the long-term

Pay attention to his or her STRENGTHS not weaknesses. Always find something great about them.

Guide them to their gifts. Give them ample opportunity to do what they are already good at.  They may not be able to be well-rounded, so don’t force them.

What helps you day by day

  • Be your own cheerleader. Silently think, “I can handle this;” “I’m the one in control.”
  • Regularly talk through your feelings with others who understand and won’t judge.
  • Get a life, maintain personal interests, and occasionally set thoughts of the child aside without guilt.
  • Commit to doing the best you can, and accept that this enough – plan to let go someday.

You’ll know you’ve done a good job when your child is able to take responsibility for their own care. This is a monumental personal achievement!

How to calm down a tense situation 

In a neutral patient voice, give directions or requests. You will need to repeat yourself, calmly, several times. Your voice should not communicate strong emotions. Tone of voice, not words or volume, is what creates a bad response.

Don’t rush calm. Give the child plenty of time to unwind and settle. Calm is more important than quick.

Ensure there’s a calm place to go – a time-out space, even for you.

Bring in help – a therapy animal or another person who can calm your child if you are not able to calm down.

Reduce sensory chaos in your home:  noise, disorder, family upheavals, the intrusive stimulation of phones and excessive screen time.

Ideas for managing resistance or defiance

You want your child to be resistant to the negative things they’ll face in life. It represents willpower, and is a strength to cultivate… but only certain defiance.

Be quiet and LISTEN. If you respond, address how they feel underneath, not what they say.

Use reverse psychology–ask them to do something you don’t want them to do, so they can defy you and do the opposite.

Choose your battles. Let them think they’ve won on occasion.

For an ODD child, give multiple instructions at once, including things they do and don’t want to do. It becomes too much work to sort out what to defy and your child may do as told.

Actively ignore – for a child who demands inappropriate attention, stay in the vicinity but don’t respond, look away, act like you can’t hear. They can eventually give up. Works best for ages 2 – 12.

Mix it up – Be unpredictable. Give a reward sometimes but not all the time. Try new ways to use incentives or set boundaries and structure.

9 common parenting mistakes

If you’ve done any of these, don’t worry.  Forgive yourself.

1. Treat your household like a democracy. Your child should  have an equal say in decisions.

2. Find fault with them and tell them about it repeatedly. If they do something positive, it’s not good enough.

3. Pretend your child has no reason for their behavior. Ignore his or her needs or challenges. Are they being bullied? Are they having a hard time sleeping? Is your home too chaotic?

4. Make rules and only enforce them once in a while, or have consequence come later.

5. Treat your child like a rational mature adult.  Make long explanations to a 3-year-old about your reasoning. Assume a teen wants to be just like you.

6. Expect common sense from children who are too young (5), or from young adults with a long history of not showing common sense.

7. Keep trying the same things that still don’t work. Repeat yourself, scream, show how frustrated you are with them.

8. Jump to conclusions that demonize your child. “You are manipulative and deceitful,” “You don’t listen to me on purpose,” “I’m tired of your selfishness…”

9. Make your child responsible for your feelings. If you lose your cool, insist they apologize.

Not problem children, but problem symptoms 

When you observe these behaviors, remember that many of them are normal for children from early adolescence into adulthood. For troubled children in particular, expect these and don’t be frustrated by them.  What you focus on instead are things pertaining to their safety, education, and physical and emotional health.  If these are going along OK, you can work through the other problems with immaturity later.

Problem symptoms

Does not show common sense and is not influenced by reason and logic (irrational because are thinking is driven by: chemistry, neurological issues, past trauma…)

Has no instincts for self-preservation, and poor personal boundaries (brain disorders delay or limit their capacity for social learning and awareness)

Has no well-adjusted friends, or has friends who lead them in risky directions (they’re being bullied? good friends leave because of their behavior? risky friends share and understand their problems? risky friend are using them?)

Doesn’t respond to rewards and consequences (rational thinking competes with mental noise in their head: paranoia, anxiety, panic, fear, depression. ADD, ADHD)

Has limited character strengths of honesty, tolerance, respect for others, self-control (social learning is delayed or nonexistent)

Seems lazy or apathetic or lacking in willpower (clinical depression, marijuana use, or the result of taking their phone to bed)

Does not make plans they can realistically achieve, hangs on to fantasies (“magical thinking”, mania or hypomania, anxiety, ADHD…)

Acts younger than their peers, they will not be ready for adulthood by 18  (common to many normal children, your child may grow out of it or improve with treatment)

Lives in the here and now; doesn’t think about the past or future (also common to many children, they may grow out of it or improve with treatment) 

Does not notice or care about their effect on others.  (self-absorption is normal to some degree, but not in excess, instead it could be from:  depression, schizophrenia or psychosis, autism spectrum disorders, narcissism, or many other disorders)

Make these your priorities, in order

1. You and your primary relationship(s)

2. Basic needs and responsibilities: housing, clothing, food, income, health

3. Your challenging child or teen.

Ineffective:  This is often how parents end up spending their time when a child has a mental illness. Make the slices equal in size–not too much for one, not too little for others.

 

Good:  The really important foundations in your family need adequate time.  Don’t let your child dominate.  Everyone will do better when your household is stable.

Lean in.  One day at a time.  Deep breath.  Hope is. 

 

–Margaret

 

Good messages for siblings (and parents) of a troubled child or teen

Good messages for siblings (and parents) of a troubled child or teen

Your other children already know something is terribly wrong, and they deserve to hear the truth from you.

Most are old enough. They see other children in school and discover other families are nicer, so they don’t talk about their own. They are afraid to bring friends over to visit because of how their troubled brother or sister behaves–pestering them, upsetting them–then those friends talk about it with fellow students and their own parents. Word gets out about your family and people form opinions, especially teachers.

Siblings also feel unsafe and insecure. They never know what’s going to happen! Tell them the truth and trust them to understand and appreciate your candor.

  • You cannot cure a mental disorder for a sibling.
  • No one is to blame for the illness.
  • No one knows the future; your sibling’s symptoms may get worse or they may improve, regardless of your efforts.
  • If you feel extreme resentment, you are giving too much.
  • It is as hard for the ill sibling to accept the disorder as it is for you.
  • Separate the person from the disorder.
  • It is not OK for you to be neglected. You have emotional needs and wants, too. The needs of the ill person do not always come first.
  • The illness of a family member is nothing to be ashamed of.
  • You may have to revise your expectations of your sibling. They may never be ‘normal’ but it’s OK.
  • Acknowledge the remarkable courage your sibling may show when dealing with a mental disorder. Have compassion, they suffer and face a difficult life.
  • Strange or upsetting behavior is a symptom of the disorder. Don’t take it personally.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask your sibling if he or she is thinking about hurting him or herself. Suicide is real.
  • If you can’t care for yourself, you can’t care for another.
  • It is important to have boundaries and to set clear limits. You should expect your sibling to show respect for others.
  • It is natural to experience many and confusing emotions such as grief, guilt, fear, anger, sadness, hurt, confusion, and more. You, not the ill person, are responsible for your own feelings.
  • You are not alone. Sharing your thoughts and feelings in a support group has been helpful and enlightening for many.
  • Eventually you may see the silver lining in the storm clouds: your own increased awareness, sensitivity, receptivity, compassion, and maturity. You may become less judgmental and self-centered, a better person.

Excerpted from “Coping Tips for Siblings and Adult Children of Persons with Mental Illness,” from the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), 2001, www.nami.org.

The 12 Commandments for Parents of Children with Behavioral Disorders

The 12 Commandments for Parents of Children with Behavioral Disorders

Parents!  Want to know how to make it?  These commandments were written for parents with children with serious (physical) disabilities, but they apply to you too.

  1. Thou art thy child’s best and most consistent advocate.
  2. Thou hast valuable information about your child. Professionals need your input.
  3. Thou shalt put it in writing and keep a copy.
  4. Thou shalt not hesitate to contact a higher authority if you can’t get the help you need.
  5. Thou shalt keep records.
  6. Thou shalt seek out information on your child’s condition.
  7. Thou shalt have permission to be less than perfect.
  8. Thou shalt not become a martyr, thus, thou shalt take a break now and then.
  9. Thou shalt maintain a sense of humor.
  10. Thou shalt always remember to tell people when they are doing a good job.
  11. Thou shalt encourage thy child to make decisions, because one day, he or she will need to do so on their own.
  12. Thou shalt love thy child, even when they don’t seem lovable.

– – – – – – – This is a revised version of “The 12 Commandments…” published by the Pacer Center (Parent Advocacy Coalition for Educational Rights) for children with physical and medical disabilities. www.pacer.org.

Life at home is a war zone

Life at home is a war zone

Homes with troubled children are war zones–very different from those with physically-disabled kids.   We can’t make things better for our child with wheelchairs or ramps or other specialized equipment.  We need serious fire power.  This story tells what it’s like to live with our child, seek mental health treatment, and find social and emotional support for ourselves.  It is inspired by, and much quoted from, Emily Perl Kingsley’s “Welcome to Holland,” about having with a son with cerebral palsy.  The original is at the end of this article.

Welcome to the War Zone

I try hard, often unsuccessfully, to describe the experience of raising a child with a brain disorder – to try to help people who have not shared that difficult experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel.  It’s like this… When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy.  You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans.  The Coliseum, the Michelangelo David, the gondolas in Venice.  You may learn some handy phrases in Italian.  It’s all very exciting.  After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives.  You pack your bags and off you go.

Several hours later, the plane lands.  The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Afghanistan.”  “Afghanistan?!?” you say.  “What do you mean Afghanistan??  I signed up for Italy!  I’m supposed to be in Italy.  All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”  But there’s been a change in the flight plan.  They’ve landed in Afghanistan and there you must stay.

They’ve taken you to a dangerous unstable place full of fear.  You have no way to leave, so you ask for help, and citizens offer to help but you must pay in cash.  Instead of help, they lead you down one blind alley after another.  You are afraid because you are different, you are a target because you stand out.  After spending most of your cash, you can’t ignore it any more–you are in very serious trouble–completely alone in a strange country, surrounded by people who don’t like you.  You won’t be rescued.  You can only think about hiding and praying and holding yourself together.

After a few years of ‘round-the-clock stress and isolation, you make a couple of connections, and arrange an escape across the border.  There are dangers in the next country, but your connections help.  Your escape seems to take forever, yet you finally make it home!  But everyone you know has been busy coming and going to Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.” And the pain of that will never, ever,  go away… because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.  But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never feel the fulfillment of using your character-building experience to help others escape Afghanistan.

Margaret

– – – – –

“Welcome to Holland” by Emily Perl Kingsley – http://ourlifeinholland.blogspot.com

“I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this….When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting. After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.” “Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.” But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.” And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.”

The Holland story has been used widely by organizations such as NAMI (National Alliance of Mental Illness), as a way to help parents with troubled kids accept their situation when their child is identified as having a brain disorder.  Holland just seems too nice, too peaceful, to relate to our situations.

Naturopathic and holistic mental health treatment

Naturopathic and holistic mental health treatment

This guest article is by a naturopathic physician in Portland, Oregon USA, who specializes in mental health treatment for children and adults using naturopathy.  Following is a summary and link of a podcast about the use of holistic/alternative medicine for the treatment of ADHD.

 

Addressing Mental Health Issues From a Holistic Perspective
Krista Tricarico, ND.  www.openmindmedicine.com

Holistic treatment

According to naturopathy, the health of the mind and body are intricately linked. Just as our thoughts strongly influence our physical health, our individual physiology affects our mental and emotional well-being. The foods we eat, our digestive health, the toxins in our environments, our hormones, lifestyles, experiences, beliefs and attitudes all play important roles in our physiology and biochemical make-up. As a philosophy, holistic mental health recognizes this beautiful web of interdependency.

Holistic approaches for adults and children can be used in conjunction with psychiatric medication, but unlike pharmaceuticals, holistic mental health treatments usually have the “side effect” of improved physical health and a richer emotional experience. Rather than suppressing or covering up symptoms with a drug, the goal of treatment is to address underlying causes and work towards integration and balance.

As a naturopathic physician, my goal is to support the wisdom of the body and mind and facilitate an individual’s inherent ability to heal. Naturopathic Doctors (ND’s) are licensed primary care physicians who have attended a four-year, postgraduate-level naturopathic medical school and are clinically trained in the art and science of natural therapies. In addition to conventional diagnosis, laboratory testing and pharmaceutical medications, the scope of naturopathic medicine includes nutrition, counseling, homeopathy, botanical medicine, physical therapies, and mind-body approaches. Training in naturopathic medicine does encompass the same basic bio-medical sciences as conventional medical training, but the approach to health and disease differs considerably. It is the philosophy of naturopathy that clearly differentiates this medicine and directs how we approach each patient.

Treatments

This will look different for each person and will be guided by conversation and individual interests as well as physical exam and laboratory analysis when appropriate. I have found the following therapies to be key factors in mental health recovery.

Counseling

Some patients see me primarily for counseling, and people with this focus are welcomed. Others are either interested in a blend of counseling and naturopathic approaches or seek care strictly for holistic medical support. A young person’s treatment needs and interests also change over time, so I meet a patient where they are at this moment. My counseling approach has a strong emphasis on self-awareness and mindfulness. Self-observation coupled with an attitude of curiosity, openness and acceptance allows for conscious insight and more freedom in the responses to the stresses and challenges a young person faces daily. Mindfulness-based therapies are a particularly effective approach for depression, anxiety and addiction issues, and can lead to increased clarity and a sense of contentment.

Nutritional Therapies

The foods we eat have a direct impact on the chemistry of our bodies and brains and, therefore, on our mood, thoughts and behavior. Our brains require the correct balance of amino acids, fats, vitamins, minerals and glucose in order to function properly, and individual needs can vary drastically. I work with all patients, children and adults, to uncover their unique nutritional needs through history-taking, diet analysis and lab testing, and then help individuals address underlying biochemical imbalances through shifts in their diet and nutritional supplements. Food allergies or sensitivities can play a significant role in mental health, as well, and the removal of these foods from the diet can have a profound impact on one’s healing. Orthomolecular psychiatry is a field of medicine that has applied these nutrition-based therapies in the treatment of conditions such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, anxiety and depression and has helped shape my naturopathic practice.

For more information about orthomolecular medicine, visit www.orthomolecular.org.
For more information about food allergy testing, visit www.usbiotek.com.

Homeopathy

Homeopathy is a gentle yet powerful system of healing based on the principle of “like cures like.” People have observed since ancient times that a substance that causes an illness or symptom can, in very small doses, cure the same problem by stimulating the body’s intrinsic healing ability. Through an in-depth interview, I strive to understand a child’s unique physical, mental and emotional experiences and, after careful study, select the appropriate remedy. Homeopathy offers a safe and elegant treatment that is a natural complement to counseling and can be used alongside conventional medications and other naturopathic treatments. As a truly holistic and individualized form of medicine, it is particularly well-suited to psychological and psychiatric concerns. Although identifying the effective remedy can sometimes require patience and perseverance, the results of successful homeopathic treatment are profound and long-lasting.

Restoring Digestive Health

Many mental and emotional concerns have their origins in the gut. It is important to identify and treat conditions such as hypochlorhydria (low stomach acid), candida overgrowth, gut dysbiosis (a bacterial imbalance in our digestive tracts), parasites, inflammation, leaky gut (increased permeability of the intestinal wall), and food allergies as they have direct effects on brain function. Imbalances in the gut play a significant role in many neuropsychological conditions. Conversely, our emotions strongly influence our appetite and digestion. The nervous system and the digestive system are intricately linked by a constant exchange of chemical and electrical messages including nutrients and neurotransmitters. Anything that affects one realm is likely to affect the other, and I have found that addressing gastrointestinal health is often foundational in one’s mental health recovery.

Blood Sugar Balancing

The sugar in our blood is called glucose, and this is the primary fuel for our bodies. Being one of the most sensitive and demanding organs, our brains require a constant supply of this glucose to perform its never-ending functions. A healthy body is able to regulate the blood sugar to provide a consistent energy source for the brain; unfortunately, this function is commonly impaired. Hypoglycemia is a condition in which the body can’t sustain constant glucose levels and can be a causative factor in attention and behavior issues, anxiety, panic attacks, rapid-cycling bipolar disorder, insomnia and addiction. Elevated blood sugar over time not only leads to diabetes, heart disease and obesity but also mood and behavior disturbances, decreased mental functioning and dementia. Many psychiatric medications put people at additional risk for blood sugar problems only exacerbating this problem. Balancing your blood sugar is an important component of disease prevention and general health and will also support your mood, energy, metabolism and mental functioning.

Amino Acid Therapy

Supplementation with amino acids can help optimize neurotransmitter levels. Amino acids are the building blocks of proteins that our bodies transform into neurotransmitters such as serotonin, melatonin, GABA, dopamine, epinephrine and norepinephrine. These are the messenger molecules that allow our nerve cells to communicate and have a direct impact on our mood, learning, attention, pain and pleasure perception, sleep, energy, and thought processes. Most psychiatric drugs manipulate our body’s ability to process these neurotransmitters in an attempt to alter the levels of these important chemicals. Instead of, or in conjunction with, antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications, we can give the body the amino acids it needs to make more neurotransmitters and avoid the negative side effects of the drugs. Neurotransmitter testing is available and can help guide the treatments. Targeted amino acid therapy is a powerful tool for addressing a wide variety of mental health concerns and provides a safe and effective alternative to these medications.

For more information on amino acid therapy, visit www.neuroassist.com.

Balancing Hormones

Our hormones are produced and controlled by our endocrine glands and include chemical messengers such as thyroid hormone, cortisol from the adrenals, insulin from the pancreas, and estrogen, progesterone and testosterone from the reproductive organs. As parents of adolescents who are entering puberty know, hormonal change has a profound effect on behavior. Imbalances or disturbances in any of these interconnected systems can alter the way our brain functions. For example, thyroid dysfunction is an often-overlooked, underlying cause of depression, anxiety, poor memory and fatigue, and PMS is a well-recognized cause of mood swings, depression, anxiety and sleep disturbances. Helping the body regain its delicate hormonal balance can have far-reaching effects for the mind.

Detoxification / Heavy Metal Chelation

We are exposed to an extraordinary amount of toxins through our food supply, the air we breath, and even our tap water. Toxic exposures affect the health of our brains. When the body encounters more toxins than it can effectively process, it stores these chemicals in fat cells, and our brains are largely made up of fat. Some people are good detoxifiers. Others with autism, ADHD, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, depression, chronic fatigue, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder are often not. Supporting detoxification and the safe elimination of toxins can be a key component to mental health recovery. I assist patients with appropriate detoxification strategies whether that is a gentle cleanse, a more intensive detox protocol or heavy metal chelation.

Mind / Body Treatments

Mind/body treatments engage the power of your mind in your own process of healing. I use therapies such as breath work, meditation, memory reintegration, relaxation strategies, and Emotional Freedom Technique (www.emofree.com) to help patients move towards a state of awareness and peace. Reflecting on and connecting with one’s own spirituality can also be an effective stress-management tool. Learning to consciously calm the mind and relax the body has a powerful effect on our neurotransmitters, hormones and immune system, and ultimately our health and sense of well-being.

Dr. Krista, www.openmindmedicine.com


Foods that support brain and mental health

  • Avocado
  • Walnuts, almonds, other nuts and seeds
  • Salmon, tuna, sardines, mackerel, herring, trout
  • Ground flaxseed
  • Brightly colored fruits and vegetables – eat the rainbow
  • 70% cacao and higher dark chocolate
  • Green tea (stone ground from whole tea leaves)
  • Berries:  acai, blueberry, cranberry, blackberry

 

Herbs and other alternatives that support brain and mental health

  • Fish, cod liver or krill oil (if you could only have one thing, this would be it)
  • L-theanine or kava kava for calming and reducing anxiety
  • Turmeric, curry and other antioxidants
  • B-complex vitamins
  • Magnesium
  • Light therapy, for improved mood and energy

 

Substances that are bad for brain health

  • Alcohol
  • Artificial food coloring
  • Artificial sweeteners
  • Sugars: cane sugar, soft drinks, corn syrup
  • Hydrogenated/partially hydrogenated fats and trans fats (fried foods). Saturated fats are fine, it’s the hydrogenated and trans fats that are bad.  I actually highly recommend organic coconut oil
  • Nicotine, THC, all other controlled substances

 


Integrative Management of ADHD – What the Evidence Suggests
By Richard Balon, MD | January 6, 2011

The use of complementary and alternative medicine treatments by children and adults with ADHD is the rule rather than the exception…more than half of parents who have children with ADHD treat their child’s symptoms with vitamins, dietary changes, and expressive therapies—but only a small minority tell their doctor. And roughly 8 out of 10 patients who use these treatments regard them as their primary therapy.

On child psychiatry and stigma

On child psychiatry and stigma

When parents complain about psychiatrists, it’s often because the psychiatrist treats them as being the cause for child’s problems.  Doctors often do not understand what life is like in the family’s home, and how impossible it is to follow through on their recommendations.  Interestingly, psychiatrists who themselves have a troubled child are keenly aware of the challenges.  In fact, they too can go crazy with grief, and guilt, and a sense of failure… just like parents who aren’t medical doctors.  A doctor’s negative attitude towards parents has huge emotional consequences for them.  If parents aren’t listened to, or if they are talked down to, it adds a load to their emotional baggage and is debilitating.  It weakens their capacity for caring for their incredibly stressful child, and for themselves.  To be fair, the medical field has lots of practitioners who aren’t helpful or people-friendly.  What’s different about psychiatry is that The Rest Of The World stigmatizes anything related to mental health or brain health… it’s as if brains are always healthy, and if someone has a behavior problem it’s their fault.  Many also think mental health treatment itself is sinister and evil, and that psychiatrists and psychologists themselves are provide fake or harmful treatments to unsuspecting people.

Our Own Worst Enemies
Nada Logan Stotland, MD, MPH

“Oncology manages to cloak the most primitive possible treatments—poison and burning—with elaborate protocols. Yet the mention of psychiatry conjures ECT, and ECT conjures images of the snake pit.  …We are the only specialty with our own dedicated hate group. We shouldn’t be our own worst enemies.”  May 18, 2010, Blog @ www.psychiatrictimes.com

o        Dr. Stotland, above, mentions ECT  (electroconvulsive therapy), or “shock therapy.”  It reboots the brain and is the only thing that keeps some people alive and eases their suffering.  So how is ECT worse than shocking a stopped heart with a defibrillator–two paddles on the chest and BOOM!  Which is more barbaric?

o        In the TV medical dramas, there’s this common scene:  a patient is in a hospital bed surrounded by doctors, and the patient is bleeding, or screaming in pain, or convulsing.  Somehow this is acceptable in prime time.  What if the scene was different.  Instead, an agitated, hallucinating patient is being restrained, and injected with a drug that immediately calms and relaxes them.  My guess is the public would find it sickening and unethical.

o        When a sweet-looking child loses all of his or her hair after being poisoned by chemotherapy, it evokes sympathy and compassion.  But if this same  child’s hair was lost while taking a psychiatric medication, then it would be seen as a barbaric side-effect of forcing drugs on children to send them to zombie-land.  Cancer treatment is forgivable; treatment for brain diseases is not.

This public attitude must change.   It victimizes the victims who live with mental disorders, and the confrontations and insinuations families experience is emotionally debilitating.   Mental health treatments are no more barbaric than those of other medical illnesses, but the stigma unique to mental health manifests itself in blame, prejudice, and the cruel insensitive comments of others.  Let the public dialogue discuss improving lives instead of finding fault with doctors, sufferers, and their families.

–Margaret

Use IQ sub-scores to guide your child’s future

Use IQ sub-scores to guide your child’s future

The IQ of a child or teen does not predict their success or failure in the world, nor their chances for a meaningful life that’s full of wellbeing.  But in very practical terms, your child will need to function as an adult someday, and take care of themselves, which means getting a job and getting a life.  What’s the best job or future path?  What isn’t?  If you know how your child scored on different parts of the battery of IQ tests, you can guide them to a future that rests on their best scores, and this is especially important for young people with behavioral disorders.  Let me explain.

A person’s IQ is the average of the scores from tests for different types of intelligences, and each test can be scored from a range of 0 to ~200.  From the Wechsler IQ Scale, used most widely in schools, there are six intelligence types. (There are many other IQ tests in use today besides the Wechsler Scale.)

  • Verbal comprehension  Ex:  Measures the ability to write, work crossword puzzles, use words creatively or convincingly, tell interesting stories or funny jokes, debate an issue, explain things clearly, and use a large vocabulary.
  • Perceptual Reasoning  Ex:  Measures the ability to put puzzles together, appreciate of art or photography, use geometry, learn best with charts and pictures, draw, notice details.
  • Working Memory  Ex:  Measures the ability to remember strings of numbers or letters, lists, and subjects just observed or subjects recalled from a much earlier time.
  • Processing Speed   Ex:  Memory recall, speed of problem solving, recognition, and correlation.
  • Reading   Ex:  Measures the ability to read and understand different types of writing, to learn and draw conclusions from reading, reading speed, comprehend the meaning in written material.
  • Math Reasoning  Ex:  Ability to solve mysteries, solve logic and math problems, organize things, figure out how things work, use technology, appreciate and apply science.

Your child’s individual intelligence scores are better indications of your child’s strengths and weaknesses.  You should support interests that take advantage of where their best intelligence is, their high scores, to prepare them for schooling or a job.  On the other hand, if you know where they score low, you can arrange extra support for them before they become adults–or you can guide them away from a future choice (such as a career) where they won’t or can’t thrive.

Introduce your child to experiences they are predisposed to master.

The philosophy here is to help your troubled child use the best of what they have, and not require them to be well-rounded.  Pressuring them to do well in everything isn’t helpful for two reasons:

  1. Troubled children commonly have a wider range of low to high scores, and they aren’t or can’t be well-rounded;
  2. Your effort goes into weaknesses they struggle with, instead of strengths that should be nurtured and celebrated.  Troubled children and teens really need a good dose in self-esteem.

A hypothetical case –  Take two very different children with very different IQ scores, yet both with the same behavioral problems in school.  They act out, pick fights, hit others and damage others’ things.  Sean is a 15-year-old boy with an IQ of 83, diagnosed with ADHD and Fetal Alcohol Effect (FAE); Katy is a 10 year girl with an IQ of 122, diagnosed with PTSD and ODD.  In the graph below, Sean’s scores are in red, and Katy’s are in blue.

 Sean’s score of 83 is misleading because his overall functioning is much lower.  In fact, three of his test scores are below 75, the level designated as developmentally disabled.  His special education teachers are surprised he does so poorly in school because he seems so normal on the surface thanks to his above average verbal skills.  He has lots of friends.  He communicates clearly, he listens to others, and he likes to tell good stories. What should Sean be when he grows up?

Half of Katy’s scores are above gifted, ~130, but her below average verbal ability prevents her from mastering essential social and communication skills.  Because she’s so intelligent, people are surprised that her grades are low. The problem is her behavior in class and how it distracts from learning. But Katy’s behavior comes from an early trauma.  And with lower verbal skills, she has a harder time communicating her needs and perceiving the little social interactions that help us mature.  Katy can do anything, but what shouldn’t Katy do when she grows up?

To help people understand the implications of IQ, psychologist Dr. Arthur Jensen created a chart that he believed matched IQ scores to careers:

  • 89-100 would be employable as store clerks
  • 111-120 have the ability to become policemen and teachers
  • 121-125 should have the ability to excel as professors and managers
  • 125 and higher demonstrate skills necessary for eminent professors, executives, editors

“What is an IQ?” http://homeworktips.about.com/od/homeworkhelp/a/IQ.htm

From this chart, Sean’s IQ of 83 is too low for a store clerk, and yet Sean is able to function pleasantly and helpfully around people in structured situations.  He might do fine helping customers in the right kind of store.  He’s also good at tackling one day projects with groups of people.  Maybe landscaping or neighborhood clean-up is is meaningful to him and he thrives.

Katy could easily become the professor or executive in Dr. Jensen’s chart, yet her verbal skills might limit her to careers that don’t require nuanced interactions with people.  She might do best working semi-independently, possibly in technology, science, or engineering.  She might love a summer science camp where her intelligence would get the challenges it needs and shine.

What will your child do when he or she grows up?  You can’t make their decisions, but you can influence their choices.

“No IQ score should be considered an exact measure of intellectual ability…  It does not measure creativity, leadership, initiative, curiosity, commitment, artistic skill, musical talent, social skills, emotional well-being, or physical prowess – all components which can be included in definitions of giftedness.”
National Association of Gifted Children http://www.nagc.org/

— Margaret